how could i forget?

I don't know about y'all - but I feel like a total ass.

Today is the 90th anniversary (did I do that math right?) of the passing of the 19th Amendment. Raise the roof! What what! Indeed! For those of you out there that tried your hardest to stay stoned all four to six years of high school rather than learn American Government (guilty) - homegirls were allowed to vote. Holler at that.

Normally I wouldn't shout out this topic or any topic about like real life things but - what kind of feminist would I be without any mention of this historic event? Exactly - a shitty one. Had I not made a reference to this oversight, coupled with the fact that I am heterosexual, know how to use a razor and wouldn't dream of burning anything down - especially high-priced undergarments would have been the end for me. I'd have to take the "God is coming and SHE IS PISSED" bumper sticker off my Subaru post haste. Thank heavens I remembered.

In all seriousness though, I first learned about suffrage from my favorite movie as a child - "Mary Poppins" - and the American Girls series. As a child, I thought that was how all women's rights suffragists looked. As soon as I was reading 5 grade levels above did I see my first picture of Lucretia Scott. Holy fuck. Yikes. I'd take Ms. Banks any-fucking-day. For those of you with parents who favored a more interactive childhood (i.e. your parents spent time with you/you couldn't afford a VCR - or worse, the Disney Channel) Mrs. George Banks (Winnie for short) is adorable. How could they not afford women the right to vote? And even though Mr. Banks, George Banks to be specific, frowns upon the cause - you KNOW he's going to come around as soon as he's done flying that kite made of paper and string.


I know all the words to the movie; but some of my favorite occur when Winifred sings her world famous song "Sister Suffragettes" - First off, the song is truth, no doubt about it. She starts off - “Although we love men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid”. That bitch must have had a crystal ball, in addition to being wise beyond her years - I wish I had some anti-man joke about screwing in a light bulb, but I don't so, you'll have to do with with out.

And later in the song she proclaims: "Our daughters' daughters will adore us and they'll sing in grateful chorus, "Well done, sister suffragettes." And I hope you do, ladies. I hope you do.

Anyway, this is getting far longer than I expected. Tonight - I propose everyone raise their glasses high - in honor of the American suffragists - Lucretia Mott, Elizabeth Cady Stanton (I'd call her Libby, just for kicks) & Suzie Anthony - you go girls. You are so welcome.

Even though none of you looked like women, you sure did knock it out of the park for women's rights.

best line i've heard today . . .

Spoken by my always-unassuming roomate:

"you know, there's something very fishy about that Air France jet . . . so sad but so fishy."

I'll let you take it for what you will. You're welcome.

This could be a new feature - if everyone around me started being way funnier.

i'm sure opportunity knocked . . .

As I was taking my two hour 'extended lunch' today I heard some very disturbing news on the radio. Miley Cyrus is coming out with a clothing line. After I got my car back on the highway I began to think about this. Okay, Miley, I'll give you the traditional "you go girl!" - but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy and resentment on behalf of my girl, Raven Symone.

Raven also had a hit television show on Disney (for those that have seen it - it was so much funnier than "Hannah Montana" and way more realistic, let's be honest) and has a couple albums and for a while - was the hottest thing around. You can't argue that point. And I am almost certain the knock of opportunity presented itself before Raven, I mean, Hello! she totally cameo'ed in the Princess Diaries 2! And furthermore, don't try to pretend that College Road Trip didn't get a few Oscar nods. If she were to style her clothing line to be exactly like her show - I can't even stand to think of the sheer pleasure I'd get from those purchases. My disappointment is growing with each letter typed.

I cut my lunch short and canceled a mani to get back to a location where I could gather more information on Miley's new line. Thank god I hadn't eaten lunch because I still feel sick. Literally disgusted, although, not surprised.

In an US Weekly article, Miley announced her new line - which will be sold at . . . Wal-Mart. Whew. Okay. So typical. I can't have Miley pulling a Jennifer Hudson just yet. I'm not ready. Apparently all the clothes will be under $20.00 - again, typical, and will be kind of rocker/punk/"so cute you guys!"

Miley went on to Twitter: "I'm so exited to share this wit u."

First of all - did Billy Ray forget to take Miley to grade school? I don't fucking care if you only have 140 characters available per 'tweet' - an "h" and a "yo" would have definitely fit on that shit. Embarrassing. What's even worse, as I read that, I could hear Miley squeal with excitement as she read the sentence aloud in that deep/husky/lisp in the back of her mouth voice. Thanks, but no thanks.

Second, isn't Miley like 11 and a half? That would explain the spelling - but, seriously, WTF is she going to make? Lohan has already done leggings and I honestly can't think of another wardrobe necessity for young, undeveloped boys (girls) - bibs? Onesies? I guess I'd support a bib/napkin/KERCHIEF (I'm sure that family has a collection) line - I'm also sure Miley's lisp makes talking a little messy - okay, enough.

As I clear the thought of a pre-rhinoplastic (word confirmation?) Ashlee Simpson mixed with Avril Lavigne's "Sk8er Boi" version of a 12 year old who TyPeS LiKe DiS aLL dA FuCkiNg TiMe, gross.

I (like the millions of other Raven fans) can take comfort in the fact that no, Raven won't go there, girlfriend. I mean, post-"Achy Breaky Heart" and before the obvious exploitation of his daughter, I doubt the Cyrus' had a store they frequented more often than Wal-Mart. Which is so fine, but it is no place for me or for Raven.

I'd like to put down my glass of h8erade to say this: I'm not hating on Miley, I'm just supporting Raven. I know it isn't Miley's fault that she was blessed (?) with a speech impediment - no more than Raven can be blamed for being so fucking awesome. We all have our pros and our cons. In addition - I wouldn't argue with anyone proclaiming Miley's "The Climb" to be one of the most moving, grown up, heartfelt, emotional songs ever. And even though I don't think she has a good grasp on her letters or sentence formation (which is natural for an 11 year old) you can so tell she feels it.

Right?