November 29, 2010

Sprung, in every sense of the word.

Well, well, well! How goes it? (OMFG, I hate that saying, it ranks right up there with "LOL" and shit - ugh! Although, I will secretly admit that saying it makes me feel kind of old-timey and delightful so -- yes, let's just move on.) I know, I've been away for a while, and I know each posts starts out with the same salutation, excuse, denial, anger, and so on, etc. So fucking sue me! Things have been happening like crazy here -- and you have the nerve to ask me where I've been! Lil' Wayne may have gotten himself into solitary by sneaking in a BOOST Mobile phone, but he sure as hell didn't get himself sprung solo, ya dig? You're welcome on that front, because I'll tell you what . . . shit sure was dark up here with Weezy in lock-up. Its hard enough living in a country that allows Bristol Palin to remain on its most prestigious professional & D-list celebrity matc-up program, but calling myself a United States citizen when innocent men like Wayne Carter's locked up for 23 hours a day? More like American't. 

Anyway, let's try to ease back in to the blowout. Not that's its been a hard task, trust. (Big Ups to my Momz and Jesus for blessing me with the gift of being so motherfucking observant, socially aware and guffaw-eliciting! Thanx booz!) it just . . . I don't know, whatevs. Let's get back in it to win it. 

Speaking of easing (things) in, today is one of the best days of my year! Obvs, the Monday after Black Friday (or "Thanksgiving" for those out there reading who are annihilating, selfish (but always adorable, let's be honest) WASP's) is a favorite for many of us. 

Cyber Monday, eh? Well, I mean "I've never done this before . . . but . . .okay, I guess." (yeah right, hoodrat, we were all in middle school with AOL in its brand-newness once -- you're not fooling anyone . . . except the 55 year old man who just IM'ed 19/m/ma, perhaps.)

Don't worry, I'm not judging, just do you -- which is obviously the whole point of Cyber Monday.

Thank you America . . (try not to disappoint me again.)

Oh, and finally, can't believe I nearly forgot . . .


So, as you're busy at "work" putting the "cyber" into "Cyber Monday" (and letting me know you're home alone and undressed . . . pervert) please enjoy one of America's golden boys(z) with one of his first two singles(z), "I'm Sprung" -- which really, given everything that's been happening and that's taking place now, is so damn appropriate.  You're welcome (lit/fig.)