GMAFB.

Good Morning! For those of you that don't know what the title to this post stands for (because, we all know if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything . . rep to MLK, Jr.) you'll have to read and re-read this post, as you normally do, because I just don't feel like giving anyone a hand out today. Right?

I do hope you all had a glorious weekend and a terrific Monday - I know I did. Lots of goings on in our world today - as usual. This morning, however, I've noticed a bit of a theme.

First of all, Sarah Palin stepped the hell back/down/whatever. Whew. Regardless of your political or personal opinions on the former governor of the frozen tundra known as Alaska, you've gotta give her credit for consistency. She went out in a blaze of glory - attempting to throw verbal Chinese stars (y'all know what I'm talking about) the whole way. You go girl! Although, I don't really like a quitter. It's just like I say every time my Pops tries to get me to put down the Marlboro Light: "Winners never quit and quitters never win!" Its obvious that that quip was invented by some American, as we are the epitome of staying in the game way too fucking long (Hillary? Madonna? Michael Jackson (RIP)? No? Too soon? Whatever.) and continuing to achieve, despite the bullshit media getting up in our face and other typical, everyday obstacles we all have to overcome (cue R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly.") It will be so interesting to see what happens to our favorite hypocrite . . . IDK about you, but I'm crossing my fingers for a "PALIN GONE WILD" video to hit shelves before Christmas.

Moving on, Michael Vick. Homeboy wants another chance, the Commissioner says he should get it. Wait . . . what? Another chance to what? Kill puppies? Player please! Another chance to get his hurr all braided and then look at you with those beady eyes? I'll pass. I really think, at this point in his game (no pun intended) his only option is to rap. . . a tougher Ron Artest, if you will - and I totally would (lit/fig)! Gah, I'm going go continue to pray about that one.

It seems like everyone these days is asking for a fucking break. Come on! Sarah Palin has requested we give Bristol (and the rest of her family, right?) a break . . but it seems to me Bristol's been breaking it off for everyone, not just the Wasilla High School JV Athletic Teams. Yuck! Kim and Reggie broke up and they want time out of the limelight to recoup (which, in essence, is a break). Silly ho's! Kim Kardashian is like a whiny, overfed Siamese cat - she deserves nothing of the sort. Mike Vick wants a break. Nah. David Hasselhoff's daughters have some new album he wants us to buy . . . but wait, what about that Wendy's incident? Oh! That's right! He wants a break! Silly me! He's too sloppy for a break in my book. Sloppy! If there's one thing that's unforgivable its sloppiness, closely followed by un-manicured nails. Ew. Gross.

Yes, some people that beg and plead for a respite in the craziness of their day to day actually deserve it. Do they get it? IDK, not from me, but that's not the point. Those people have not been mentioned in this post/blog/ever. Mainly because I don't allow most of those people to exist in my world. But that's the way it is; ah, c'est la vie!

In response to all of the Palins, Vicks, Hasselhoffs and whoever else feels like annoying the fuck out of me (but not really, annoyance is technically an emotion, and we all know I was born without those - just like my 2 top wisdom teeth) there's a break waiting for you right here, in my office freezer. But this break is far better than the one you've requested - this is a more literal break, in the form of 4 layers of thinly-cut, chocolate-covered wafers, wrapped in foil.

Dig in.