The Big 5-0.

Well, well, well! What do we have here? Yes, you've guessed it. Our 50th post together. It seems like just yesterday you were awestruck upon first glance (and/or read). Whatev, for those of you that have seen my hair, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

In honor of this momentous occasion, I'm going to also use this opportunity to talk about my favorite "fifty" thing; take a walk or two down memory lane, if you will, and I know you won't say no to me . . right? Excellent.

First and probably last (IDK how much time I'll have for this post since my boss is on vacay all week and I'd like to get a start on my 3 hour lunch) . . I love antiques. Technically, after 50 years, items move into "antique" status. I mean, tell me how exhilarating it is . . . going into a P.O.S shop downtown and finding a true gem, like a picture of a Boston Terrier on a serving tray or some old stamps or some shit. Its glorious. No, don't even try to argue. IDK about you, and what shape your favorite old treasure takes, but mine's about 5'7" and is so good at laundry, mending, making throw pillows and can do the dishes in 4 minutes flat (I've timed her). My roommate/mother is kind of like a fine wine, the older she gets, the more valuable she becomes. Of course, like all material things in this life; I'm not saying that if Antiques Road Show came to town I wouldn't take her in "just to get her priced" . . . but for now, she's earned her keep (and she pays the mortgage, so its a double bonus).

In fact, this post coincidentally coincides with my roommate's 52nd birthday week. Talk about fate! If there's anything better than 50; its 52 . . . so I obvi plan on making the birthday one that is incredibly memorable. Any ideas? IDK how I'm going to top what I got her for her big half-century (a phone call from jail . . don't worry! I managed to throw a "Happy Birthday" in after I asked her to get me the fuck out of there; and told my arresting officers, as well, neither here nor there.) I'm thinking of a beautifully crafted home made card with my thumbprint; on the inside it will say something to the effect of "aren't you glad thumb-body isn't wishing you happy birthday from the slammer this year?" . . or maybe just "thumb-body loves you."

Decisions, decisions & oh, yeah, here's to another like 2,000,000 "best posts ever."