November 24, 2009

I'll stick with the tag "Gay-MA's"

You know, I think its safe to say that I go out of my way for you, my darlings, in order to keep you all up-to-date with the very latest goings-on in the world of "pop culture" . . . and by "pop culture" I naturally mean the tough street life and hip-hop that I listened to secretly under my pillow from ages 7 to 12 I was raised on. I broke the Michael Jackson story for you, brought you all the latest news and developments regarding the Beyonce/Keri Hilson fued, wrote that riveting "This Is It" review, shared my deepest thoughts about Lil' Wayne and a campfire and will henceforth be reveiwing "The Blueprint 3" . . . if I can ever find time to put this glass of cristal/video phone down. Suffice it to say, I pretty much rest well at night knowing that in terms of hard-hitters in the MC world, I'm all over it. I do, more often than I'd like to acknowledge, receive some feedback regarding my total lack of non-hip-hop music coverage. When I stumble across an e-mail such as this (that somehow didn't get deleted immediately), I immediately reply with a short, albeit written with love, answer: Fuck off. Then I might go on to detail that the last uproar in the non-hip-hop world was when Courtney Love killed Kurt Cobain, and then I'd have to go further into how unkempt that whole genre is. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like guy-liner as much as Pete Wentz, but, as far as controversy goes, its all a little "old hat" for my tastes. I mean normally, as far as I'm concerned, unless Alanis Morisette and Dave Coulier do a joint-VH1 reality sitcom, don't bother letting me know. (P.S. Do they even have VH1, or electricity for that matter, in Canada? Anyone have Sarah Palin's digits?)

This all is coming to you as a result of the Gay-MA's from Sunday night. First off, I'll say that, as soon as that hoodrat Taylor Swift won over Michael Jackson, I immediately switched off the television in disgust. Don't worry, I won't even get into that bullshit, perhaps at a later date. So, as I checked my Twitter page, I immediately noticed a shit ton of tweets regarding Adam Lambert. First off . . who? Right, exactly, that ass clown that got kicked off American Idol, or lost, or whatever, I mean really, you all know I stopped watching that shit when Clay Aiken was robbed of the title in Season 3 when I turned 19. Boy, talk about the wrong time to turn off . . . as I began to investigate it turns out I missed quite a show. Normally, I don't mind paying for streaming video of softcore pornography, but when they've got it for free, I mean, fuck, how disappointing. We are in a recession, y'all. Okay, enough of that, I will get too queasy and be unable to finish this post if I continue this ballyhoo over free porn. (lit/lit). So I've watched it once via YouTube. Damn. I don't want to waste our time talking about the nature v. nurture debate but if there were any young adolescents out there wondering how cool it looks to be a gay man whore, they sure got their confirmation. I guess I can't really blame him, I mean would you want to be the one known as the untalented queer that almost won American Idol? Hells no you wouldn't, and plus, Clay has that title on lockdown (even though he recently added "father to a bastard child" to his moniker). So what's left? I mean, homeboy clearly isn't getting anywhere with his musical talents, or his poorly manicured imitation of my own Lo-hands that were all the rage in 2007. No sir. So now, I guess he wins. He gets to be the attention seeking, off-balance pie face that had to choreograph some action into his life. It didn't even look like either would have been good, am I wrong? In all honesty, give me a fucking break. Talk about a step back for the gay movement. Good luck trying to get Proposition 8 passed now, jackass.

So, here's to you Adam Lambert (who sings what? right), yes, you did shock America and really helped to bring up the rear (no pun intended) for one of the worst award shows I've ever almost watched all the way through.

And you wonder why my love for hip-hop thrives? Bitch please. I mean, yeah, on one hand I could have a bisexual threesome on stage, but isnt that what Europe is for? Call me crazy, but I'll take Biggie Smalls or Eminem or any-fucking-one with some street cred calling me a bitch and asking (telling) me to hide their clip in my glovebox any day over over guy liner and bad cuticles. For real.

1 comment:

  1. just b/c you kiss another man (can we confirm?) on stage at some second rate awards show doesnt guarantee you'll be relevant after losing (sucking on, pun not intended) American Idol. trust me, if it did, i would have done it years ago.