July 7, 2011

An Un-bear-able Question.

You know, I'm always thinking of you. And in an effort to compensate for the lengthy last post, I was really hoping that any breaking news I encountered today would be able to be somehow blended, combined essentially to make things all the easier for you. Let's give it a go. 

Given the fact that we've all had quite a chuckle at Michelle Bachmann's mix-up of her hometown heroes with the mix-up between the birthplace of John Wayne and John Wayne Gacy (happens to us all!). This story, coupled with the following, is going to lead to one of the best "Would You Rather" games, ever. Give me a second . . .
Now. Holy shit. After being forced to watch "127 Hours" (most of it, anyway) I thought I was pretty set with my decision to never enter the wilderness (in a van or by foot) to camp, hike, rappel - and given the research I've done, more often than not, perish, alone, to be devoured by wild animals. Or, in the case of one (former?) hiker, speed up the process and let a Mama Grizzly take the wheel. The story is everywhere now, but its become apparent that the Sierra Club isn't the only aggravated with humans all up in their living space. And I thought serial killers were the biggest threat facing hikers today! Thank God this wasn't the Amazon . . . I shudder to think.

These Mama Grizzlies are out of fucking control! I don't even want to think of the number of innocent Iditarod participants and Eskimos that were fell victim to Alaska's most famous mother bear. Damnit! As if Sarah Palin's angular jaw and ill-fitting square-rimmed glasses weren't frightening enough! And if we take one crazy side-step from SP, here we are back again with Michelle Bachmann. 

Since neither psychopathic criminals nor these bears-gone-wild seem to be discriminating in victim choice, I think it begs the question: Who'd you rather? Imagine yourself, enjoying the long-leaf pines of our national parks. Which is it going to be? A grizzly protecting her cubs or a middle-aged white man (most likely from Indiana - just saying!) trying to satisfy a crazy urge developed because of an unusual relationship with his mother?

I mean really! How do you decide? I'm not sure, yet, and I'll take all the help in deciding you've got to offer.

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