June 9, 2009

"Going down?" and/or "The things I do for you!"

Wow, what a Tuesday! Y'all wouldn't believe it, so I'll save my time and let you take my word for it. I didn't even have time to update my coupon database (don't judge) and you already know how far behind I am on today's stories. Thankfully, I've got a story of my own - astonishing, yes. Please feign surprise.

Moving on. As you will recall, I mentioned yesterday that, in between my efforts to free T.I. from the big house (kind of like an adorable version of The Innocence Project - idk, but they don't sound that cute, I'll try to find out) , I'm trying to corroborate my experiences via live shots as they occur. My first attempt, unfortunately, didn't go as planned. Let me set the scene.

I stealthily got on the elevator in order to get the fuck out of work, obvi. Normally I hold the "Call Cancel" key all of the many (three) floors down - just to avoid having to speak to people I normally wouldn't. I must have forgotton to "leave work at the door" and forgot to press the "Lobby" button. That shit went all the way up to the 5th floor. I know - another 30 seconds wasted all up in that 'vator. The doors opened and an elderly lady of about 38 boarded.

I recognized her, having seen her park in the/my Visitor's spot by the door. Rude. I assumed she purchased a candy-painted PT Cruiser and spinning rims to show if off - and what better place to do so than in the bright sunlight of uncovered parking? Clearly I'm mistaken, man, I sure do feel like an idiot.

Anyway, I looked down, in order to save myself the effort of a half-assed smile or silence after she inquires how my day was (I should be so lucky). And then, the angels in heaven smiled down upon me. I noticed then that homegirl was wearing tights and sneakers - with socks! What luck! Obvi I was meant to share - and I was going to take a photo and "throw some D's on that shit" (figuratively speaking) with a lovely post. I readied my camera phone, zoomed accordingly and snapped.

Fuck. The flash totally went off. Brightly, obviously and noisily. Thanks alot, Blackberry.

So there I was, totes embarrassed (if I had working feelings) . . . and I mean, what in God's name do you say in a sitch like that? Yes, you're totally right, she's the one that should feel sheepish. Opaque tights (of course) and scrunched socks? Combined with a rather old pair of Reeboks . . . ? I didn't know "Tacky Day" still existed when you grow up. Hopefully its as valid as "Hung-thefuck-over Day" - I'll have to check. She gave me some hideous look, which I just took to be her normal face, and kind of tilted her head in wonder. I'm pretty sure she was oblivious to the fact that she was just snapped, well, let's at least cross our fingers. If I had to guess, I'm betting homegirl still has one of those Nokia faceplate mobiles - or, more likely, a Jitterbug - and neither of those are equipped with a camera.

Thankfully, I played it off (I think I blacked out during this time) and swiftly walked past her to my car . . . right there in my Visitor's parking space. After all, my office is not my home - I just "visit" for 8 hours a day . . okay, fine, 5 and a half. Either way, "camera mastery" is definitely on this weekend's To Do List. You are so welcome.

1 comment:

  1. dont forget to turn the "shutter" sound off! i have a lot to teach you about taking pictures of people unbeknownst to them.